Ways to Know You’re in a Bad Church

10. The church bus has gun racks

9. Staff consists of “Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor, and Socio-Pastor”

8. The Bible they use is the “Dr. Seuss Version”

7. ATM in the lobby

6. Services are B.Y.O.S. — “Bring Your Own Snake”

5. Choir wearing leather robes

4. No cover charge, but communion is a 2 drink minimum

3. Karaoke worship time

2. Ushers ask “Smoking or Non-Smoking?”

1. The only song the church organist knows is “Innagaddadavita”

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