These are actual newspaper ads.

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.

FREE PUPPIES… Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.
FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a reward.

YOUNG COWS: NEVER BRED $300 each. Also 1 gay bull $250.

NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown – 89 cents lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. Worn once by mistake. $375 Call Stephanie.

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.